A long time ago I just kinda gave up. I caved to the pressure of, well, everything. I became incredibly jaded and disinterested in everything. I no longer knew what brought me joy and I became a shell of my former self. I no longer had a voice of my own. I simply went along with whatever anyone said because I didn’t believe in myself or feel like I could do anything right. In my mind I was a failure and no one should have to deal with me or my baggage. My personal tragedy was right up there with Elizabeth Taylor’s and Ruth Roboline. Over time I did things I didn’t enjoy and I spent a lot of time simply doing nothing. There is such a numbness to the endless scroll of Facebook and Instagram. The kind where your eyes go out of focus and you just scroll to fill the time. I’d occasionally do work ‘cause I had bills to pay, but I didn’t do anything that I was proud of, that I wanted to share, or that I wanted to grow anything. If I did anything I was remotely proud of I’d self sabotage with self doubt or I’d be so convinced that it would fail that I’d simply give up before I ever started. It’s not that I had a long list of failures, but I did have a couple that in my mind over shadowed my successes and I constantly feel another failure was just around the river-bend or that if it did go well something from the past would come forth to ruin the present. I’m now convinced I manifested my own failures because I was terrified of succeeding. Over time and thanks to a few friends that truly believed in me my spark started to return. I found myself feeling inspired again. I still wasn’t confident. I’m not quite sure I’m confident yet. I’m hopeful that’ll return over time. I found myself engaging in conversations about business and passion and the things I’d loved in a past life. I was suddenly fueled by the idea of erasing my failures by continuing on. I was fueled by the idea of reconnecting with my past life. I thank those from the past life for making me feel like I could be great...greater than I’d ever been. The shame of failure suddenly felt more like lessons learned and lessons to drive me forward. || Continued in comments...
I have followed @jayrmcdonald for a while now. His work inspires me daily. He reminds me of my original IG crush @jontaylorsweet so much. He reminds me of @tannerwendellstewart my second IG crush so much. His landscapes, his portraits, his passion, and his fun loving personality are infectious. In December when I made the decision to return my focus and my time to bringing back folk from its dormancy I knew Jay would have to be included in this. Today I am so excited to share a preview of the conversation I had with him on our website (link in profile and story). The full interview is in our special 2019 edition of folk magazine. The issue is an incredibly limited edition. www.folklifestyle.com.
Today’s favorite images all share a bit of a beautiful warm glow to them. It just felt right brining back my daily favorites yesterday. Hopefully this will continue for a while. 1) @davey_gravy 2) @lizmariegalvan 3) @j.scud 4) @nate.craig 5) @shortstache
Roads and journeys are funny reminders that life is a constantly moving expedition in and out of places known and unknown. Yesterday I took a long drive from New Jersey to Kentucky (not this photo) down through the mountains and on across to the western end of my home state. I drove down a chunk of i81 that I hadn’t since 2013 when I drove a uhaul clear up to upstate New York to retrieve nearly all of my belongings after the winter weather was just too frigid for my southern soul. I stopped at a barn sale that I think I had heard of before in a past life, but honestly do not know. I stopped for fruit tea and to see friends before continuing my journey on towards the setting sun and the steepening hills of West Virginia. There was something about that drive that just got into my veins, it got deep inside me and had me longing for a past, longing for an identity and a direction I used to so deeply love. I knew my journey would end here in Kentucky with me packing my current office as I prepare to create my dream studio down on the farm...a place I’ve longed to own since long before I can remember. Today as I began sorting and packing and tossing I came across a stack of long forgotten relics of a past life and it made me crave that identity and that mission even more than I do each day. A lifetime ago we used to do real physical issues of FOLK. Issues I’d piece together with my team. Issues I’d design with my amateur skills on my laptop and we’d send em off to print with their grassroots indie quirks. Today made me long for a return to that identity and a return to that idea that I got to create a little piece of story and narrative...a piece designed to feed the soul....
Today I start sharing my favorite images of the day again. Today begins a lot of new things...but first, here are these. 1) @davey_gravy 2) @braedin 3) @zeekyan 4) @cjfavino 5) @johnbozinov #liveauthentic #livefolk @folkmagazine
Sometimes you have to go quietly into hibernation, into nature, and into moments alone to truly understand where you’ve been, how that affected you, and how you want to grow forward from it. Photo by @ben.janis in Iceland.
Who inspires you? Photo by @chriskpickens #liveauthentic #livefolk.
I am so thankful to be surrounded by such amazing friends that constantly support me and my dreams. I hope that I am able to be as encouraging of all of them. One of my very closest friends @roadsendworkshop is currently trekking across the US in the most beautiful vintage airstream. Along the journey they are teaching workshops dedicated to photography. I owe so many of my photography skills to the amazing mentorship and education they have been kind enough to give me over the years. I sincerely hope you will follow along with their beautiful journey.
They say that if you want something speak it into existence. Reach out to the universe, the energy of nature, and the gods above for guidance, for strength, and for energy to achieve that goal, that dream, that destiny. It’s funny how the universe has a way of providing exactly what we need, even if it isn’t exactly what we want. Today I am offering my praise and gratitude to the universe for allowing me to know each of you and to know each of the people in my life. I pray that each of you finds that same voice and same strength today with whatever you might be going through or going towards. Photo by @kuscheiart in Austria.
What if we took all our perceived successes and perceived failures and the passage of time and life and experience to fuel our new chapters and our new adventures rather than allowing those times to hold us in the past. Perhaps if we channeled all of those shades of life into the future we could build a tomorrow that is even more amazing than we perceived our greatest moments of the past. Photo by @jguzmannn
At some point in life we learn that we must spend the occasional season sitting, reflecting, dreaming, simply being still, and knowing that this calm and quiet will prepare us for the coming seasons of change ahead. Allowing ourselves to live within those calm seasons does not make us lazy or pathetic or less than, it allows us to the develop the tools and strength we need to build and grow and do mighty things. Photo by @fabiomluz
Surround yourself with those that believe in you, that encourage you, and that champion you. Photo by @j.scud